January 14, 2005

Dog Takes Waffles From Boy

Dogs are unpredictable. That's why deep down - I tense up with fear when I'm around these fluffy, loving, teeth-baring mammals. My dog is nice, sweet, listens to the band play the same phrase over and over and barely ever hides her head in shame. She can however, snatch the waffles right out of my son's hands like it's her job.

I guess it is her job. If you could steal, fart and yell at nothing for hours without little consequence wouldn't you?

Hiring: Dog. Salary based on experience. Great retirement plan. Within running-away-from-your-employer-distance to great sniff sites, including other animals' urine, trash and open garages.

On Halloween, I went out with my son for trick-or-treating. My husband stayed home to hand out candy. After about our third house down, I see a dog running frantically with a giant grin. It's my dog. I run through neighbors' yards in my Zombie Hilton costume chasing her down. I picked her up and rang the bell for our house. My husband had no idea that she had snuck out as he handed out candy.

And she's a Good dog. What do the owners of dogs who do far worse do? Does the laughter die down after the third chicken has been ripped off the table? Are there any signs that the dog you get is just mildly insane as opposed to sociopathic? Thanks for your responses!


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