August 17, 2005

Chattanooga Votes for Chickens

People keeping farm animals in their backyards is causing riots in Tennessee. Ok, they're not actually riots, but the article (link shortly) does come from the Breaking News of Chattanooga so it must be dramatic, right? Now, I should say that Chattanooga is a wonderful place with wonderful people, but I only wish that I could come up with some of the ridiculous news stories that actually surface around here... read this. Here's my favorite: "Councilman Leamon Pierce said, "As much chicken as I eat, I'm not going to vote against chickens."

No, Mr. Pierce, it appears that we have already voted for plenty of chickens.

And wow, those giant, miniature dogs that are as big as household horses, I mean, those giant dogs as big as some miniature horses. What I'm trying to say is, shouldn't I be able to have as many giant dogs, I mean small horses, as I want?

My point? I guess you're lucky if the worst problem your town has is that the leaders are afraid to vote down chickens because they have such an insatiable appetite for eating them. Is it like, "Yeah, you keep on growing those backyard, suburban chickens, baby, I'll be back shortly with a fork..."? No wonder they're opening up so many Zaxby's around here.

It sounds like everyone should take advantage of our leaders' lack of knowledge about keeping animals right now. I'm proud to say that I have acquired a miniature lion and a rare, albino Panda. They're so cute and give plenty of milk!


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