December 04, 2005

Plans for Genetic Superhuman Coming Together

With the announcement that Brad Pitt is adopting Angelina Jolie's children, plans by UberTube, Inc. to create a superhuman seem much more plausible. The Learning Channel is even thinking of going ahead with their series, "A Geneticist's Story," in the early Spring of 2006. Although Pitt and Jolie have never officially announced that they are an item, analysts believe that his adoption of her children is the best evidence they have yet that they're playing kissy face.

"The next step," started UberTube's Lillian Friest, "is to get them in here for DNA samples. We would actually prefer it if they let us take care of creating their offspring. We plan to squeeze out every bit of perfection from both of them, not that they have far to go. Their imperfections must literally be found under a microscope at this point."

From the inside, it seems that both actors have hearts of gold, and obviously on the outside, they are the finest our species has to offer. Although there may be some kind of genetic predisposition to one disease or another, it seems that it will be harder to find fault than it is to get the best of their DNA.

Several countries have already placed bids for the DNA information, as well as for cloning rights. So far, Brad and Angelina have refused to comment or release hair samples.


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