September 08, 2006

New Requirements for 70's Children

Beginning January 2007, anyone born between 1970 and 1979 will no longer be required to like Steely Dan in order to be considered a child of the seventies.

Classic Rock lovers across the board will now be able to freely say "Up Yours Steely Dan!" during or after hearing songs like "My Old School," "Josie," or "Rikki Don't Lose That Number." Of course, more colorful language will certainly be encouraged. If you're at a loss for descriptive exclamations pop in that James Taylor cassette that you accidentally picked up in that mystery box at the garage sale for some pure inspiration. (You know who you are.)

Recently moved, Charlotte Sanders, from Amelia, Virginia, was totally vamped about the 70's child requirements, "I've been painting my kitchen all week. The radio has been great company, on the most part. I've suffered through several "Dirty Deeds" and secretly-enjoy-hits like "Hold on Loosely" by .38 Special, but if I have to go into another dark overdose of "Do It Again," I may just switch to the Alternative station for good."

A Stick-It-To-Steely party will be held to celebrate the freeing of all those souls sometime in the beginning of 2007. Come back for details!


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