February 15, 2005

Lobby of the Noseblowers

Now comes the fun part folks... holding the President accountable for all of the power we've given him.

There is a snippet on about the budget proposal...

Now everyone is going to say that it's probably my fault since I voted for the man. Again, I direct you to your ballot on November 2nd for clarification of this action.

I guess if things had turned out differently, we would currently have a silly budget on the table and higher taxes because let's face it, politicians really do one thing... get their party money in exchange for a law and/or money.

I mean I thought we got along great with Japan. Why do we need to pour 3 million into friendship bracelets and Honda commercials? Last time I checked, Japan still liked us. Now 3 million to encourage friendship with any country in the Middle East... oh sorry, I guess we've covered that.

I know I'm a little cynical today. It's going to be ok. I've just always been amused with government programs and grants. The old saying... "if you've thought of it, it's been done" applies here. Just change it to, "if someone has thought of it, the government has poured at least $300,000 into it".

I have some more ideas about new programs...

a research campaign to quiet crickets ($450,000)

a domesticated, affordable pet monkey (2 million)

diet salt (4 million)

law to ban the recorder and replace it with any other instrument in the entire world - including the chainsaw ($600,000)

Come on everyone, get that pet monkey you always wanted and watch it sleep soundly at night in it's little Bratz bed without the sound of incessant crickets to wake it. Stop wanting to hurt your child, get them an accordion. Eat all the salt you want and lose weight! Imagine if all these things were paid for by the government.

Oh, they are?


  • At Wednesday, February 16, 2005 at 5:37:00 AM EST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Der Flounder speaks:

    Proposed legislation to send me $15,000,000 to research the causes of pork in the budget. I am the only one qualified to study the phenomenon and offer suggestions on how to reverse the trend. Think of all the money you will save the taxpayers.


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