February 22, 2005

Local Girl Learns to Say "Banana"

Yesterday, parents and friends praised little six-year old Lonnie for finally pronouncing "banana" properly. Ruthlessly picked on for several months by her first-grade peers, Lonnie has finally kicked her triple "nanana" habit.

Lonnie spoke yesterday through joyful tears saying, "No one even knew that BANANAS [with obvious emphasis] are my favorite fruit. I was afraid to order a BANANA split - even for my birthday, even though BANANAS are my favorite fruit. Do you know what my favorite fruit is?"

Reporters and new fans asked Lonnie if she is still able to pronounce banana the old way (bananana). She replied, "Even if I could, I wouldn't." With a runny nose, Lonnie accepted a nice bunch of Dole bananas and a Certificate in Speech from her Speech teacher, Mrs. Rhiananona, who told reporters that, "Lonnie has made great progress. We are now going to start work on "sn" sounds. She still pronounces "Snickers" like "Schnickers" and "Snausages" like "Schnausages"."

Our investigators found out that Lonnie's peers had been calling her "Fruity Tooty".


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