February 18, 2005

Saying It All With "Izzles"

Just recently, there has been a serious breakthrough in the English language. Imagine, all this time the only words we really needed were just variations of "izzle".

Let me demonstrizzle:

Your schizzle needs you to complizzle a special project on the effects of weather, particularly drizzle. So, you head down to to the local librizzle, when you notice that you don't have enough gizzle to get bizzle. You're like, "no whizzle". You decide that you're going to have to call your Mizzle so you can hitchizzle a ride bizzle because she surely isn't going to want to lend you anymore ca-shizzle.
I'm serious, this is a true stizzle.

Everyone knew what I was saying right? Can someone tell me why we need so many suffixes? You can't.

I'm really surprised that one of the greatest masters of language didn't catch onto this. We could of had:


King Lizzle

Much Ado About Nizzle

or even,

Anthony and Cleopizzle

Later authors could have taken advantage of Shakespeare's revolutionary utilization of the English language. We could of had, "On the Rizzle", "Alice in Wonderlizzle", or Stephen King's "The Shizzleing".

Let's face it everyone, this isn't just some fad linguizzles. No one says "gag me with a spoon" anymore and means it. What about 20's and 30's lingo like "you're curtains!"? We only use these when we're making fun of them. Something about Izzles is right on the mark though. This is no fizzle.


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