February 25, 2005

Do You Want A Side of Extremes With That?

The public has become obsessed with "Extremes". For example, the fast-food, drive-in restaurant, Sonic, just introduced "Extreme Tots" to its menu. They're ordinary tater tots, but they're dressed up like their hotdog, the Coney, with chili, cheese, peppers and sour cream. Please note however, that the Coney is not described as "Extreme" at this time.

There is also a plethora of Extreme sports and activities. Anything can become the outskirts of itself. Perhaps Extreme Bowling would consist of lanes twice as long and bowling balls twice as big. Extreme Baking... I don't know... would that mean baking cakes the size of giant trucks and decorating them with anything you can find like hard boiled eggs, olives, toothpicks, radishes and paper clips? I guess extreme doesn't have to mean bigger. Although, this may be a way for McDonald's to get around the "super-size" fiasco (which was code for super profits). At the drive through you could now be asked if you wanted to "Extreme your meal" which would mean your fries would be coated with a hard ketchup coating similar to Magic Shell's chocolate syrup. Your Extreme Mac would have 3 extra patties and would be slathered with a even more mysterious sauce than the "special sauce" - perhaps a blend of French dressing, Mayo AND mustard. The price of the Big Mac value meal could go from $3.99 to $5.25 without any hitches at all.

So, is the use of "Extreme" in describing whatever you are selling, be it Extreme Scrapbooks, Extreme Contact Lenses or Extreme Pets, really just what we found with the McDonald's scenario, Extreme Profits?

I know it didn't take any time for my family to purchase the Extreme Tots. You can make your entire life Extreme. Sit down in your Extreme Easy Chair, with 30 massage settings including at least 5 Eastern methods, with your Extreme Lean Cuisine which consists of 5 kinds of meat (beef, pork, chicken, shrimp and bear) and a vegetable medley tossed in a saffron cream sauce with extremely thin rice noodles for only 20 calories, and watch either Extreme Island, Extreme Bachelor, or Extreme Fear Factor (they have to eat themselves).

This is where we're at now, everyone. It's a bigger, better and a more-of-it kind of world.

*For a truly amazing fiction read on the mentality and culture behind our extremes, I suggest a book which a good friend introduced me to, Bear v. Shark.



  • At Sunday, February 27, 2005 at 6:32:00 AM EST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What? No Nazis? You can't be extreme without having Nazis.

    This used to be a fun outfit.

    Exteme is the new way of saying radical. But we have expectation creeep with each new word. Radical replaced awesome and awesome was the son of cool. Neat begat cool. Exciting begat Neat. Excitement is the son of excepional. And so on until the Garden of Evil.

    With the birth of extreme, we must have shock, not just neatness, coolness, or excitement. For example, an extreme order of fries would result in trauma or shock on the part of the eater or innocent bystanders.


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