Rock + Oscars = ROSCARS

During the Oscars last night, I really wanted someone to yell out, "Lady of the Woods! Lady of the Woods!" when Cate Blanchett won Best Supporting Actress for The Aviator. I started thinking that it's a shame that this is so unlikey to happen. Even the most Hollywood-savvy are probably too nervous to draw extra attention to themselves, and if they were going to yell out anything, it wouldn't be for something, which to them, is "sooo five minutes ago" as Lord of the Rings. Clapping and voice trained "ahhs" is all you usually get at the Oscars. These stars know that at any moment during the 4 to 5 hour process, a camera could be on them, and while random nose-pickers in the ballpark can laugh at this moment caught on tape later on with family and friends, the stars have to keep their hands at arm's reach. Nobody really wants to see Cameron Diaz scratching her inner ear or Robin Williams picking a gray one out of his arm hair. So going from that, and Beyonce dewedgie-ing herself, to Clint Eastwood up on his chair making satanic hand gestures, screaming, "Yeah, Million Dollar Baby, Yeah!" would cross the lines of composure and grace.

Your regular rock concert characters wouldn't make it five minutes at the Oscars. One of the most likely suspects is the Random-Whistling-and-Yelling Guy. You can't get through any rock concert, whether it's the Allman Brothers, Bon Jovi or Phish without this guy yelling out the bandmates' names during the the most tender moments of the show. It is usually, during the band's mantra song that That Guy rolls out his ear throttling whistle at the exact moment in the song when everyone else has stopped clapping. His plan of annoyance is well thought out too, which really means - he decided to yell out "ERIC" (as in Clapton) ever since that completely shredding solo finished up 3 seconds ago.

Really, I'm sure that Cate Blanchett is rightly being praised for her award (I've heard she was great) and of course for the mind-boggling beautiful honey and maroon dress, pinned at the shoulder with a feathery diamond broach. (The colors are not properly expressed on this link, but you may get the idea). For just this once it might have actually been exciting to see That Guy show up at the Oscars, for him to properly cheer Cate in true and proper rock concert form; so out of place, yet so appropriate, to be screaming above all the clapping... "Lady of the Woods!! Lady of the Woods!!".