March 01, 2005

Man Aims to Clone Really Good Sandwich

William Sutton of Duluth, Minnesota, recently contacted the company, Genetic Savings and Clone based in California to get estimates for cloning the best Subway sandwich he's ever had. Although a cat clone may cost $32,000, Mr. Sutton was surprised to find out that his sandwich would cost upwards of $250,000.

Dr. Dopple of Genetic Savings and Clone gave an explanation for the pricey project, "You have a lot of elements going on here. The more toppings, the more individual clones we have to make. We have to clone the wheat that made the bread, the lettuce, and any of the meats in the sandwich have to be cloned, grown and slaughtered. The good news though, is that once we have the clones, we can make numerous sandwiches and possibly strike a deal with Subway to market what we intermittently dubbed, "The Sutton Sub"." Dr. Dopple also commented on how wise and disciplined it was of Mr. Sutton to freeze-dry a good portion of the sandwich.

Toppings included on what even Mr. Sutton's wife, Marianne said, "was the dreamiest concoction" include roast beef, turkey, ham, cucumbers, tomato, black olives, banana peppers, white cheese, light Mayo, mustard, pepper and red wine vinegar on a wheat sub. So far, the employee who actually put the sub together, Ned Johnson, who works at the Subway located in a local Kangaroo Gas Station and Qwik Mart has not received a raise from the company for phenomenal sandwich art, although he told us that one guy gave him a $2.00 tip after he heard about the sandwich on the news.


  • At Tuesday, March 1, 2005 at 10:25:00 PM EST, Blogger thedeactivist said…

    I would like to apologize for the low quality of my comments - especially the previous one and this one. My comments are not particulary funny, witty, or insightful. And even worse, my comments are degrading in quality for each post. In fact, this one has nothing to do with this post!


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