Here's to 25 Years with My Sea Monkeys

I'm so happy! My sea monkeys have finally started talking to me! I can still remember the day I discovered the colorful order form in my brother's Uncle Scrooge comic book in 1979. The picture showed glorious creatures, regally dressed with crowns and pitchforks. The form said that they would do tricks, grow large and even talk to me! I couldn't wait to meet my new sea friends. I knew that I would have so many questions to ask them. Alas, I had to wait so long.

Oh, Plankton...
Oh, King and Queen of krill and microorganisms
Look mercifully on your humble servant
for now the day has come...
For so long you were nothing
but the shadow of tiny tadpoles
In the right light, you were see through.
Now, the tricks! the spins! the acrobatics! What choreography!
And finally, I hear your sweet voices. At night, you tap on the glass with your pitchforks to wake me up, so I can join the great debates of your species.
-discourse to overshadow Plato and Socrates. The very secrets of the Universe.
I have learned so much from you. No wonder I had to wait 25 years to hear your conversations. Could a child begin to understand your vast knowledge?
Oh, Sea Monkeys, my water heroes.

But, now, there is another feeling. I can't deny it -- it is overwhelming. Even your pleas and terrified objections cannot sway the person taking over inside of me. Yes, Sea Monkeys, I must cook and eat you. Even the King and Queen. And yes, you Jester, who just now has proven friendship through jovial laughter and surprises.

You are too plump and juicy now, Oh, Sea Monkeys. Can you not hear the song? "Your time is come. Bring forth the spices." Your cries have turned from screams to the song of the great Cajun feast. Now, do you hear it?"

I will always remember you.