May 06, 2005

Welcome to the First Installment of...

...Handy Cat !

For Handy Cat!'s first segment he's going to tell you how to obtain, then scoot a nail around the floor until it gets stuck under the refrigerator:

"You may remember me as Ginsberg, who served time for aggressive harassment. Well, don't worry folks. My new job as Handy Cat!(TM) has set me on the path of riotousness.

Meow, the first thing you're going to need to do is get the nail out of the toolbox. This will take strong paws and/or the help of your jaws. Try grabbing the nail with your fangs while your paw helps set it into place with a firm grip. Once you have it, run with it. Show off a little. Next, drop it, jump up into the air in an arc then pounce down on it hard (minding the pointy part). Repeat. Repeat. After you get tired of that, sit down for a few moments and look completely uninterested while you steal glances at the victim (or nail). Then, with a fury of feline rage, start bopping the nail to and fro. Left paw, right paw. Right paw, left paw. Mix it up a little. Eventually, it will get stuck under something, in this case, the refrigerator. You're then set to meow indefinitely until your Feeder breaks their back trying to get it out for you."

Don't forget to catch the next installment of Handy Cat! when Handy Cat! paints the carpet with paw prints!Posted by Hello


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